Bowser's Interviews
by Mishieru Hime
Summary: After Bowser takes a job from Master Hand, he interviews potential Super Smash Bros 4 characters. Each character he interviews has a different back story, and can be either from Nintendo or a different company. Spin-off to Bad Luck Bowser. No longer accepting character suggestions, due to a series finale happening.
1. Cloud

I still felt queasy from last night, finding out that the "chocolate chip" cookie was an oatmeal raisin cookie. I've been vomiting ever since the incident. I think Samus didn't wash her hands before making them. Anyway, the loudspeaker made an announcement while I was playing a friendly match of air hockey with Ganondorf.

"Will Bowser Koopa please report to the office? That's Bowser Koopa to Master Hand's office." the loudspeaker said. I was really worried about what Master Hand was going to say to me. Maybe it was regarding the Squirtles I ate last month. Or it was how I accidentally broke Princess Peach's lamp. Curious, I trudged to Master Hand's office.

"Hello Bowser." Master Hand said. I sat down on a plush seat, worried about being reprimanded for the lamp or the Squirtle.

"Hi." I said, trembling.

"What seems to be the matter?" the gloved hand asked me.

"I thought that I'm in trouble for eating some Squirtles last month." I replied.

"No, you're not in trouble for that. I'm asking you to interview some applicants for Super Smash Bros 4." it offered. A white paper appeared in my hands, as I looked at the job offer.

* * *

**Job: Interviewer**

**Type: Part Time**

**Experience: Brawl Veteran or higher**

**Location: Smashwood Soundstage B**

**Salary: $2500**

**Description: The Smash Boards are looking for Super Smash Bros veterans to interview new Super Smash Bros applicants. You will be interviewing Nintendo characters who have applied to join Super Smash Bros. You will be also interviewing 3rd party characters too. Accept 3rd party characters that have appeared in at least one (1) game for a Nintendo System.**

* * *

"I'll take it." I said. I haven't been earning enough income ever since Super Smash Bros is on hiatus and will return in the spring.

"Come back here and I'll warp you there." it said.

* * *

**The next day:**

I walked in the office to see Master Hand sitting behind its desk. Without saying a word, a purple aura appeared around me. I was teleported to a talk show-style room. Sitting in a leather chair was a young boy dressed in an all-black sleeveless jumpsuit and brown combat boots. A spiky pauldron rested on his left shoulder, which matched his metal wristbans. His young look can be told by his piercing cyan eyes and blond spiky hair. Beside his chair was a giant steel sword, around the same height as me. He handed me his application.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character auditions**

**Your Character: Cloud Strife**

**Weapons (your best): Buster Sword, Materia, **

**Armor (your best): Ziedrich, Metal Pauldron, Ribbon (I know it's sissy, but at least it can make me immune to status ailments)**

**Your Skills: Omnislash, Braver, Cross-Slash, Blade Beam, Chimhazzard, Finishing Touch, Meteorain**

**Your Abilities: Superhuman strength and speed, experienced sword training**

**What game are you from?: Final Fantasy VII, Playstation**

* * *

I cringed at the word "Playstation" and remembered something.

"Do not accept any 3rd party characters that have not appeared on a game for a Nintendo System." I looked at Cloud to say something.

"Hey I'm sorry, but it's Smash Boards policy. We can't have you in the game." I said sadly.

"WHAT? WHY?" he yelled.

"It's that, you never appeared in a Nintendo game. You said that your game 'Final Fantasy VII' is for the Playstation." I replied.

"OH REALLY? MY FRANCHISE ONCE WORKED WITH NINTENDO, AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE NINTENDO 64! I ALSO HAVE A GAME ON THE NINTENDO 3DS!" Cloud raged. He picked up his giant sword and looked like he was going to attack me.

"OK. After you calm down, we'll start the interview." I panicked. Cloud let his sword rest on the seat as he sat back down.

"So Cloud, what is your reason for joining Super Smash Bros?" I asked. Cloud took a few sips of water before answering.

"I've read a couple Super Smash Bros fanfictions about me being in the series and my fans want me to be in Super Smash Bros. Gaming fan sites said that I have potential to join. I wanted to grant their wish and shock the gaming websites, despite my company discouraging me from joining." Cloud replied.

"Seems that you have a good fanbase. Can you tell me about your achievements in your games?" I said.

"You may know me from defeating Sephiroth, but I've done a couple other feats too. I've survived long falls and shrugged off multiple impalements." Cloud answered.

"You have potential." I said. "Why not put your application in the 'Possible' box?"

"Thanks!" Cloud walked over to the red box. A label saying 'Possible' was taped on to the box. At the moment Cloud placed his application into the box, a bullet pierced through Cloud and I twice.

"Ow!" we both yelled. Part of the back wall exploded and a heavily armed soldier entered through the hole.

"That was for rejecting me in Brawl!" the soldier said before flipping us off and leaving.

"Who was that guy?" Cloud asked me.

"That was Master Chief. Mario did the interviews last tournament and rejected him because he only appeared on the Xbox. Because of that, he holds a grunge on me, the Smashers and applicants like you." Ganondorf walked in and saw us lying down. He went backstage to call an ambulance or something.

* * *

"**Master Hand should force Bowser to interview the possible SSB4 newcomers. And after each interview, he either gets injured or faints and the person puts their application in the "POSSIBLE" box." – writes4u**

**You can suggest characters to be interviewed. They can be Nintendo or 3rd party characters. 3****rd**** party characters will be accepted if the character has at least one game on a Nintendo System. For example, Master Chief is not allowed, due to his Xbox-only games. Altair is accepted because he has a game on the Nintendo DS (Altair's Chronicles)**


	2. Mega Man and Spyro

**Bowser Junior's POV:**

"Hey, hey, hey!" I said, while I entered the interview room.

"WHERE'S BOWSER?" the audience screamed as they threw their food scraps at me. I felt like crying, but I shoved it off to say something.

"Bowser's stuck in a traffic jam. So Master Hand forced me to take my dad's place until he arrives." I replied casually, as I sat down. I read the application that I received from Master Hand. The application was from a guy named Mega Man and it was written in blue pen.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Mega Man**

**Weapons (your best): Mega Arm, Buster Cannon**

**Armor (your best): Ultimate Armor**

**Your Skills: Weapon Copy**

**Your Abilities: Superhuman speed, strength, reflexes, durability, Adapters**

**What game are you from?: Every single Mega Man game, NES, SNES, Nintendo 64, Gamecube, Wii, Playstation, Game Boy, Game Boy Color, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS**

* * *

"Let's welcome Mega Man, Capcom's mascot and fighting robot." I announced. The crowd cheered as a young boy dressed in a cyan skin-tight bodysuit with blue trim entered the room. He sat on the nearby leather seat and waited for me to say something.

"Do you want some water?" I asked as I offered him an ice cold glass of water.

"Get that away from me!" he screamed, scaring a few children. I placed the glass on a table.

"OK. Why did you want to become a fighter?" I asked.

"Children are playing M rated games, instead of classics like Mario, Zelda, me, and Metroid." Mega Man said. "I wanted to join Super Smash Bros to show that I'm a masterpiece too."

"What is this?" I asked while I pointed at Mega Man's arm cannon.

"It's my Buster Cannon. Want to see how it works?" he asked me.

"Sure." I replied as I snapped my fingers. A beautiful girl walked in with a giant target.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Yes!" Mega Man pressed a red button on his cannon and aimed it at the target. Instead of hitting a target, the lasers hit my head.

"OW!" I cried. Mega Man noticed the "Possible" box and placed his application in it.

"See you later." he said as he left the room.

* * *

**Bowser's POV:**

I walked into the stage, still panicky from the traffic jam. I was greeted with my son lying on the floor and Mega Man's application in the box. I dragged my son's body backstage and placed him gently on my bed.

"HURRY UP DUMBASS!" yelled the crowd.

"OK! YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL!" I yelled back while returning to the stage. When I got there, I saw a purple dragon with an application in his hands. I sat down and he threw me his application. The application was written messily in black pen.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Spyro the Dragon**

**Weapons (your best): My breath and my body**

**Armor (your best): I don't wear armor.**

**Your skills: Dragon breath, magic, **

**Your abilities: Flying, Dragon Breath, Dragon Kata (Martial Arts)**

**What game are you from? Spyro the Dragon, Play Station, Game Cube, Game Boy, Nintendo DS, Xbox, Wii**

* * *

"Hello Spyro." I said to the purple dragon, while offering to shake hands. He accepted by showing me his right purple paw.

"Tell me about yourself." I said.

"My name's Spyro. I'm a dragon who chose to save the world after my relatives were frozen by Gnasty Gnorc. After that, I saved multiple worlds 5 times and made 18 other games." he replied. I was curious about the elements of his dragon breath, so I chose to ask him that.

"You said that you have dragon breath. Can you add different elements to it?" Spyro was too busy picking his (invisible) snout to bother talking. He heard me and replied.

"Oh yeah. Ice, bubble and thunder." he replied quickly.

"What do you know about Super Smash Brothers?" I read from a paper.

"Super Smash Bros is an event on TV where multiple Nintendo characters compete for prizes. My friend Sonic was in the….ACHOO!" Spyro sneezed. He also breathed fire onto my face, and gave me some burns.

"WATER! WATER!" I screamed. I noticed several of the audience members, especially the teenagers were filming me to put on YouTube. Spyro looked at me awkwardly before looking at the box, while I ran off to the backstage.

"What's this?" the purple dragon asked. He looked at the label on the box and placed his application before flying away, creating a hole in the glass ceiling.

* * *

**"Now, I could just unload my requests right now, but I'll just take it slow. Mega Man, the classic one mind you." - Plasmatroopa**

**"Anyways, why not try Spyro the Dragon or Crash Bandicoot?" - Jazzhearts**


	3. Magnus MS and Daisy

**I've received a lot of requests and I can't guarantee that your character will appear in a chapter. Please try to limit your requests to 3 characters.**

* * *

After treating my burns, I walked back into the stage. Sitting in the chair was a young man, who looked around the same age as Ike. He wore coal black armor with glowing cyan patterns etched onto it. He looks like he was from TRON. The man had dragon features like long black horns, dark wings, and a dark tail. He had a pale gray complexion, and hazel Gerudo-like eyes. His application teleported into my hands.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Magnus**

**Weapons (your best): My handy two handed sword, Instant Death Bombs, sleeping gas**

**Armor (your best): Pantheon Dragon Armor**

**Your Skills: Multiple sword techniques **

**Your Abilities: Super Strength, Flying**

**What game are you from? Maple Story, PC**

* * *

"Look Magnus, you aren't from a Nintendo game. I do understand that your company are making a 3DS game, but you aren't in there." I said sternly.

"Fool. No one messes with Magnus, the commander of the Black Mage." he hissed, before picking up his sword.

"Ganondorf, we have an intruder." I hollered. Ganondorf ran in, wondering what happened. A young boy with dragon features and a young dragon girl also ran onto the stage. How dare they knock the guards out?

"We're looking for a man named Magnus." the dragon boy said.

"You mean him?" I pointed at Magnus. Ganondorf and Magnus were busy dueling with swords.

"Yes." the dragon girl said. Magnus paid attention towards the two children, before transforming.

"KAISER AND ANGELIC BURSTER COMBINE!" they yelled. The boy transformed into a red dragon with matching armor, while the girl's hair and clothes changed and some jeweled weapon appeared on her hands. It partially resembled Samus's arm cannon.

"They must have watched a lot of superhero cartoons." I thought. They successfully knocked out Magnus, but not before he placed his application in the "Possible" box. They gave an evil eye to Ganondorf.

"Are you working with the Black Mage?" Angelic Burster demanded.

"What's a Black Mage?" Ganondorf asked confused.

"Oh, so you're trying to fake it to fool is?" Kaiser accused.

"Tell me more about that weird triangle on your hand. Did the Black Mage give you that in exchange for your people's souls?" Angelic Burster continued while she pointed at Ganondorf's Triforce of Power.

"I believe that this is none of your business." Ganondorf replied. When he said that, Angelic Burster loaded her weird weapon thing and shot him, while Kaiser keeps whacking the Gerudo with his sword. I took out the Easy Button and pressed it, which reverted the room prior to Magnus's interview.

"I'll give you some front row seats if you promise not to attack him." I bargained.

"Sure!" cried the two little dragon kids. They transformed back, snatched the tickets from me and scrambled to the front seats.

"Next please!" I called.

"Hi, I'm Daisy!" said a redhead princess as she entered the room. Her dress was made from pale orange and pumpkin fabric. It has two full-length petticoats with pumpkin trim and short gathered sleeves. The sleeves were accented with white lace, while a silver pendant with an aquamarine gem accented her top. She wore earrings to go with. The princess took a seat next to me and gave me her application. The application was written in princess-like cursive writing using an orange pen.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Princess Daisy**

**Weapons (your best): Various sports equipment (golf club, tennis racket), a racecar and a motorcycle**

**Armor (your best): My dress, my soccer uniform (Mario Strikers Charged)**

**Your Skills: Flower Power, Flower Swing, Torpedo Strike, Crystal Smash**

**Your Abilities: Almost super speed, good jumping, power, technique, and stamina.**

**What game are you from? Mario Kart series, Mario Party series, various Mario sporting games. Every single Nintendo console except for the SNES**

* * *

"Daisy, Daisy, Daisy." I said.

"That's me!" she smiled. She took a sip from the iced tea I made.

"Tell me about yourself." I nodded.

"I'm Daisy, the princess of Sarasaland. I'm the girl who appears in your favorite Mario sports games." she cheered.

"Didn't you appear in Super Smash Bros. Brawl?" I asked, concerned.

"Oh that. That isn't me. It was just a palette swap for my friend, Peach." she quietly sobbed. I gave her some tissues.

"Why do you want to appear in Super Smash Bros 4?" I continued.

"I got annoyed of people thinking I was in the game, since I was a palette swap for Peach. I wanted to join because to stop people from having that view and because there aren't enough female characters." she cooed. Before I could say anything else, a stage light fell onto my head.

"Sorry! We were trying to change the lights." said a stage technician.

"Bye, my lovelies!" went Daisy as she skipped to the "Possible" box, placed her application in it and skipped out of the stage.

* * *

"**Ghirahim, Demise, Dark Pit, Magnus, or maybe even... Groose!" – Boombot. I don't know which Magnus he/she was talking about, so I did the Magnus from MapleStory, an online RPG I play.**

"**I'd suggest Raichu, Zoroark, Daisy, Dark Pit, Shadow and Silver." - Alpha Darkness**

"**Request: Princess Daisy: She MUST come in and say HI I'M DAISY! She is extremely fast and is also very strong, if you look to M&S at the Olympic Games. She has extraordinary jumping and is a master of many sports. She is also a girl, and SSB needs more women." – A Smashing Hero**

**Kaiser is a dragon warrior who relies on two handed swords and can transform into a dragon.**

**Angelic Burster is a dragon girl who can transform into a beautiful girl and perform powerful moves.**

**If you would like more information about Kaiser and Angelic Burster, I suggest reading a KMS blog (ex. OrangeMushroom, shakar96)**


	4. Muddy, Magnus KI, Larry and Groose

"Scratch, scratch, scratch." went the floors. I thought it was me and examined my paws.

"SMASH!" A yellow mole punched the floorboards, creating a hole near the seats. It jumped out of the hole and onto the seats.

"You're paying for that." I said sternly.

"What about your Easy Button?" he asked as he pointed towards my red button. He gave me his application.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Muddy Mole**

**Weapons (your best): Sharp Claws**

**Armor (your best): None**

**Your Skills: Digging, Bomb Throwing**

**Your Abilities: None**

**What game are you from? Mole Mania, Game Boy Color**

* * *

"What is your greatest strength?" I questioned.

"Oh. My claws. My super sharp claws." He said in a quirky accent.

"Do you consider yourself successful?"

"I've been in a game with good reviews, but no one cares about it now." the mole replied. Before I can say anything else, the floor collapsed, possibly to the tunnel he dig under.

"GET OUT! GET OUT!" I screamed. The scared mole threw his application into the possible box and dug his way out.

"Stupid mole." I muttered.

"Hey I heard that!" Muddy said before I pressed the Easy Button, reverting the stage back to normal.

"Next we have another Magnus, the mercenary of Kid Icarus." I announced. A muscular man wearing a navy sleeveless top and pants arrived onto the stage. He wore multiple leather accessories and had a big metal sword like the other Magnus. His appearance also looks similar, except for the hairstyle. I noticed the audience looking hostile and they were throwing their trash at him. Kaiser and Angelic Burster also transformed and were ready to attack.

"Bowser, why are those people acting all weird?" Magnus asked in a questioned voice.

"We had another person with the same name enter a few hours ago. He nearly killed the audience after he was rejected." I noticed Angelic Burster load up her cannon thing and shot Magnus in the chest, knocking him back.

"We have a pink haired dragon girl attacking one of the interviewees. Please escort her out and ban her from the premises." I ordered. Immediately, 2 strong looking Paratroopas flew towards her and carried her away. Magnus got off the ground and walked towards the chair, grumbling.

"It seems that we already got your application in the mail." I said. The application was written messily in pencil.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Magnus**

**Weapons (your best): A giant sword**

**Armor (your best): Cloth Armor, strong boots**

**Your Skills: Dash Kick Attack**

**Your Abilities: Mercenary skills**

**What game are you from? Kid Icarus Uprising, Nintendo 3DS**

* * *

"Tell me more about yourself." I said as I offered Magnus a cola. Magnus took a quick gulp and replied.

"I'm a mercenary from the overworld. I appeared in Chapter 2 of Kid Icarus Uprising and I'm notable for my sarcasm, especially the 'slice of pie' joke." Magnus replied.

"Do you know anyone who's in Super Smash Bros?" I read from a paper.

"I've known Pit before we were cast in Kid Icarus: Uprising. He told me that he was accepted to be in Super Smash Bros, but he was cut for a pink Pokémon. They said that it would 'increase more sales'. Eventually, he made it to Brawl and renewed his contract. I'm here because I've got a recommendation letter from him." Magnus handed me a letter, which I read.

* * *

**Dear Bowser,**

**I would like to recommend Magnus as a character for Super Smash Bros 4. Magnus and I were co-stars in Kid Icarus: Uprising from 2010 to 2012. We've worked closely during filming, and we hanged out during breaks and post production.**

**Magnus's sarcastic personality, combined with a strong warrior archetype had helped make Kid Icarus: Uprising one of the greatest games for the Nintendo 3DS. His acting and battle experience is highly professional, impressing the development staff, reviewers, and gamers alike.**

**For those reasons, I think Magnus would make a fine addition to the Super Smash Bros team. He has the moves, accomplishments and training that would make him a popular character in the game and community. If you have any questions, you may message me, PitIcarus on Smash Boards.**

* * *

**Sincerely, Pit Icarus**

"Welcome to the team." I said. Magnus cheered in delight before giving me a high-five. He was about to put his application in the "Possible" box, when Commander Magnus teleported here. I noticed that his horn was broken and his wings had enlarged.

"I'M BACK, BITCHES!" he screamed. He threw a purple bomb before teleporting away. The mercenary looked at it and threw it outside the window before it could kill everyone on the stage. It exploded, killing anyone who was outside the studio. Magnus left the stage and a young teenage boy entered the room. He had striking features similar to Link, such as his blond hair and blue eyes, but he has different clothes. The boy wore a red hooded shirt, blue jeans, red high-tops, and held a gun in his hands.

"What's your name, young boy?" I asked.

"I'm Larry, Link's younger brother." he replied. He gave me his application.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Larry**

**Weapons (your best): My fists, the Master Revolver**

**Armor (your best): Casual clothes, a bulletproof vest**

**Your Skills: Martial Arts, Epic Retreat Skill, Double Shot**

**Your Abilities: The ability to make grown men cry, fast reflexes**

**What game are you from? I'm not in a game, but my brother appears in the Legend of Zelda.**

* * *

"You aren't a game character." I said. "The interview's off."

"But you hadn't seen my skills." Larry complained.

"NEXT!" I screamed.

"This is bullshit." he said before storming out.

"Our next interviewee is Groose, inventor of the Groosenator cannon series." I announced. A tall man with a striking pompadour entered the room. He brushed his pompadour before taking a seat, while I held his application in my hands.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Groose**

**Weapons (your best): The Groosenator, my fists**

**Armor (your best): Clothes**

**Your Skills: None**

**Your Abilities: Loftwing riding, good strength**

**What game are you from? The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, Wii**

* * *

"So Groose, why do you want to join the cast of Super Smash Bros 4?" I asked. Groose was busy playing with his hair before answering.

"I found out that Super Smash Bros 4's Legend of Zelda portion may be based on Skyward Sword. That's why I want to join." Groose replied.

"Skyward Sword will be the theme for the Legend of Zelda portion." I said. "Now here's one question for you to think of. Each season of Super Smash Bros lasts for 5-8 years and takes place in Smashville. Are you willing to relocate from Skyloft for the next 5-8 years?"

"Ever since Link sealed Demise and moved to the Surface, Skyloft is now a boring place. I heard that the amities here are masterful, so I'm willing to move." Groose scratched his eyebrow and chugged on the water bottle I gave him.

"There's a rumor saying that you or Demise may replace Ganondorf. Do you have anything to say about it?" I said while I refilled Groose's water bottle.

"What's a Ganondorf?" Groose asked confused.

"Oh really?" Ganondorf walked onto the stage.

"You don't know who I am?" The Gerudo circled Groose.

"Um…do I know you?" Groose said awkwardly.

"What? You dare question the Bearer of the Triforce?" Ganondorf grumbled.

"Oh yeah, you're Demise!" Groose said as some guy held a light bulb over his head.

"Go put your application in the 'Possible' box and flee before he attacks!" I warned. Groose obeyed me, placed his application in the "Possible" box and tried to flee. But it was too late. Ganondorf picked the two of us off the ground and threw us as hard as he could. We landed on the hard floors as the Gerudo walked off.

* * *

**Larry is a fan character that I made. He's a 14 year old boy trapped in his brother's shadow and wants a game of his own.**

**This fanfic is dedicated to Boombot. Sorry for misunderstanding you about Magnus. I did the other Magnus as a compensation for you.**


	5. Filler: The Waiting Room

**This filler takes place between the part when Bowser took the interviewer job from Master Hand to the end of Chapter 4.**

**POV: Jimmy Hopkins (Bully)**

* * *

"The next station is: Smashwood." said the robotic voice. The subway paused at the next station and opened its doors to let people in and out. I brushed the tiny potato chip crumbs off my blue sweater vest, picked up my leather backpack and exited the subway. I walked towards the exit when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I looked back to see some stern looking people dressed up as the cops.

"Your ticket please?" a male cop said. I dug into my khaki pocket and pulled out a crumpled transit ticket. The cop took it from me and unfolded it so he can see if I bought the correct one.

"Thank you, you may pass." He unblocked the exit and I ran up the escalator. I ran to the outsides of the station, crashing into random people.

"How rude!" a young green haired woman said. The woman looked like a celebrity with her polished green hair, ornate white dress and her golden crown. Good thing she didn't have any bodyguards. I simply ignored her and focused on the exit.

"It's the Jimmy Hopkins from Bully!" a giant glove pointed out. It was dancing around like mad.

"He has potential." said another hand. Ignoring them, I pushed my hand against the glass door and exited the station. I pulled out my map of Smashwood and looked for Soundstage B. Luckily, it was just across from the station, so I jaywalked, angering multiple people and opened the door. Inside was a young girl with pink mushroom hair and braids working at the desk.

"Welcome to Soundstage B. Are you here to see the future Super Smash Characters audition or are you applying to be a character." the mushroom girl asked me.

"I'm joining Super Smash Bros." I grumbled. The mushroom girl took out an application and a pen, and placed it on the counter.

"Please fill this out." she instructed me. I looked at the blank application and it looked like the tests my teachers gave out.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros Character Auditions**

**Your Character:**

**Weapons (your best):**

**Armor (your best):**

**Your Abilities:**

**Your Accomplishments:**

**What game are you from?**

* * *

Confused, I asked the mushroom for help.

"How do I fill this in?" I asked.

"For the first line, you write your name. Then you write the weapons you have. This includes any tools you have." The mushroom girl smiled.

"Does bare fists count?" I questioned.

"Most of the Smashers use their fists and feet, so yes. As for armor, you write your most powerful armor. We recently changed the application to have abilities and accomplishments after multiple confusions. And finally, list the games you're from." completed the mushroom girl.

"OK. Thanks." I said. 2 minutes later, my application looked like this:

* * *

**Super Smash Bros Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Jimmy Hopkins**

**Weapons (your best): Spud Cannon, Bottle Rocket Launcher, Stink Bombs**

**Armor (your best): I don't wear armor.**

**Your Abilities: Inventing, Taunting, Quick fighting skills, high physical toughness**

**Your Accomplishments: Built a BMX Bike from scratch, notable school bully**

**What game are you from? Bully (Playstation 2), Bully: Scholarship Edition (Wii, Xbox 360)**

* * *

I handed it over to the mushroom girl and she took it from me.

"Thank you Jimmy, we'll apply you onto our waiting list. Will you please enter the door beside my desk?" she asked. She gave me a golden key and I walked to the metal door. I turned the key in, but when I opened it, the key broke and disappeared.

I arrived in a giant metal room with a variety of couches and tables, an air conditioner, free snacks, and a chocolate fountain. There were multiple people wandering around in different shapes and sizes, from a tall orange princess, to a young elf boy in a green dress. I think that boy's name is Zelda. I saw a nerdy boy around my age launching bottle rockets at a fat boy his age. There was a young princess in an orange dress sipping some tea, while a hooded man showed a limbless figure his weapons. Another person in the room was a skinny plumber resembling Luigi but with blue clothing and a scrawny mustache.

I hardly known anyone here since I was the only Rockstar character applying for Super Smash Bros. No one noticed me, so I pulled out a stink bomb from my bag, hid it under a coffee table, activated, and let it ripped. I ran back to my seat before anyone could notice. The air smelled like a giant fart from someone who ate five cans of beans.

"EW! Even Porky's stink gas smells better." whined the nerdy boy.

"I know right Jeff, even though I hate your guts." Porky said.

"It's not me!" yelled a strong man similar to me. His crimson pompadour brought my attention.

"If it wasn't you Groose, then who farted?" asked the Zelda boy. He was pinching his nose before putting on a wooden mask, transforming himself into a small woodland creature. He twirled around like a pansy to prevent the smell from reaching him. I didn't want to take the blame, so I decided to frame that scrawny plumber.

"IT WAS HIM!" I blamed, pointing at the plumber.

"What?" the plumber said. "I didn't do anything."

"GET HIM!" yelled a brown-haired boy. He wore quirky clothes that I couldn't describe, but he held a giant key-shaped sword in both of his hands. Everyone swarmed around the plumber, beating him up with whatever weapon they have. At the same time, the stink bomb smell faded.

"Finally. Now I can work on my Hungry HP Sucker." Jeff said.

"I'm so bored!" complained a purple dragon. "Why did I sign up for this interview?"

"We've all been here for the previous 2 hours." a girl said. She looked my age and she wore a black vest over her white shirt and a pair of jean shorts. She looks hotter than Zoey and I'd rather kiss her than that weird punk girl. "Go, Oshawatt!" She took out a ball and a blue otter came out of this. The girl did the same and an orange pig and a green snake was standing in front of her. I walked towards her to ask her a question.

"Hey, can you tell me about those Pokemen?" I asked. I never played Pokemen, but I saw some of the boys playing Pokemen on their Nintendos.

"The plural form of Pokemon is Pokemon. They're animals with amazing powers. There are over 500 types of Pokemon that you can collect and breed."

"Can I pet the orange pig?" I asked.

"Only if you tell me your name and where you're from." she teased.

"Name's Jimmy. I'm from Bully." I said.

"I've played the Scholarship Edition version of your game back in Nuvema Town." the girl smiled sweetly. "My name's Hilda by the way. I'm from Pokemon Black and White." I petted the orange pig.

"Tepig!" it cried.

"This is a bottle rocket I made." I showed Hilda the bottle rocket from my dorms. It was filled with water.

"Cool. Can I try it?" Hilda asked.

"Sure." I took out a bike pump and connected it to the bottle rocket. Hilda pumped it, and the rocket went for lift off.

"Whoosh!" went the rocket. It flew around the waiting room and landed on Jeff's head.

"Ouch." Jeff said.

"Whoops." Hilda said. She was about to say something, but a purple bar appeared on her head. It was something that wouldn't belong in Pokeman.

"Hilda's level is now 2!" said the bar. It gave Hilda some other stats that we wouldn't care about. Jeff regained consciousness, noticed me, Hilda and the Pokemen and walked towards us.

"Hey guys, did you see me become unconscious?" Jeff asked.

"Whoops, sorry. I was trying this boy's bottle rockets. His name is Jimmy and he's from Bully." Hilda said sweetly.

"Hello Jimmy. My name is Jeff Andonuts. I was an assist trophy on Super Smash Bros Brawl, but I'm trying to become a fighter. How did you hear about Super Smash Bros?" Jeff asked.

"I saw it on TV. I remembered that one show where a boy with a baseball cap and a blond boy were fighting. Then they made out. What a bunch of homogays!" I said.

"Ness…betrayed me for Lucas!" Jeff yelled. "The friendship's off with him! And you're welcome to beat him if you make it."

"We need Cloud Strife on the stage now. That's Cloud Strife." said the loudspeaker.

"That's me!" a young brunet man said. He picked up his giant sword, opened the door, and walked onto the stage. Jeff, Hilda and I hanged out until we met another girl. She's cute and she wore a pink dress and a red ribbon on her golden curls. She held a teddy bear in her hands. How old is she? 5?

"Who's that girl and why does she dress like a little kid?" I questioned.

"Don't mess with her." Jeff warned. "She's really powerful."

"Like what? Is she going to hit me with her teddy bear?" I mocked.

"PK Freeze!" the girl yelled. A casing of ice surrounded me.

"Tepig, use ember!" Hilda commanded. Tepig shot flames from his mouth and freed me from this icy prison.

"Shut up Hilda, you're not cool." Paula said angrily. The loudspeaker called some more people. The first batch was Mega Man, a small boy in blue armor and a Spyro, the purple dragon. Another called for Magnus, the demonic dragon man, and Daisy, the orange princess.

"Will Groose, Magnus KI, and Muddy Mole please report backstage?" asked the loudspeaker. Groose, a mercenary and a mole walked to the door. Jeff, Hilda, Paula and I were busy playing with the stuff we brought, from a mock Pokemen fight to making new objects. But the fun ended when the loudspeaker called for me.

"Will Zoroark, Ghirahim, Jimmy Hopkins and Medusa report to the backstage?" the loudspeaker inquired. Immediately, I walked to the door along with Medusa (good thing I didn't look at her, otherwise I'm dead meat), a black and red werewolf, and a creepy man. I opened the door and we all stepped in backstage.


	6. Zoroark, Jimmy, Ghirahim and Medusa

**Bowser Jr's POV:**

After grabbing a can of cola from backstage, I walked to the stage to find my dad and some giant guy with a huge hairstyle lying on the stage. I also noticed Ganondorf walking to the stage too, checking if they will get up.

"Ganon, why is my dad lying on the floor?" I asked innocently. Ganondorf's attention turned to me.

"That man thought I was a guy named Demise. So I knocked them out. Now help your uncle Ganon bring them backstage. I'll take your father, you take that man." he instructed. He carried my dad on his shoulders and brought him backstage. I was about to pick up the man when he woke up.

"What happened?" he asked me.

"You were knocked out by Ganondorf." I replied. "Now leave before he finds you." The man obeyed me and did a weird gesture. A large black bird with a giant beak crashed onto the stage, breaking the ceiling class. He got on and flew off. I took out my copy of the Easy Button and pressed it, returning the stage back to normal. Ganondorf walked back with a paper in his hands and gave it to me.

"Take care of the guests until your father regains consciousness." the Gerudo said. He handed me a list of people to interview, before he walked backstage. I sat on the couch, prepared some drinks and read the interview list.

* * *

**People to interview:**

**Zoroark**

**Ghirahim**

**Jimmy H.**

**Medusa**

* * *

"Our first person that's going to be interviewed is Zoroark, the Illusion Fox Pokémon." I announced. A werewolf walked onto the stage and sat on the couch. It spilled the glass of water onto the table and floor. I took some tissues and cleaned up the spill. Since Zoroark spilled water on the application, the writing was slightly unreadable.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Zoroark**

**Weapons (your best): Tcasntwef**

**Armor (your best): Ol**

**Your Abilities: ShOZonntN**

**Your Accomplishments: Iiatncy**

* * *

I looked at the application. What kind of applicant would write in Pokemon? Time to get this translated. I walked backstage to see if there's any Pokémon crew members who's bilingual in English and Pokémon. I stumbled upon Lucario, one of my dad's co-workers. He was busy working on the lighting.

"Hello Bowser Jr." the Aura Pokémon said.

"Lucario, can you help me translate this document?" I handed the application to Lucario. He looked at the application and stashed it in his bag. He walked to the stage and talked to Zoroark.

"(Unlike his father, Bowser Jr. doesn't know Pokemon. I'll get your application and you come back in the next wave of applicants.)" Lucario said. He handed the Illusion Fox Pokémon a golden ticket before leaving.

"(That's fine with me.)" Zoroark said. He left the stage.

"Sorry about that." I said to the audience. "The next person that will be interviewed is Jimmy Hopkins from Bully." The crowd applauded as a bald teenager walked onto the stage and sat down. He took a can of cola and took a few sips.

"I had problems filling the application, so that pink mushroom girl gave me assistance on filling it. Sorry if there are any errors." Jimmy said. I looked at the application that Toadette gave to me a few hours ago.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Jimmy Hopkins**

**Weapons (your best): Spud Cannon, Bottle Rocket Launcher, Stink Bombs**

**Armor (your best): I don't wear armor.**

**Your Abilities: Inventing, Taunting, Quick fighting skills, high physical toughness**

**Your Accomplishments: Built a BMX Bike from scratch, notable school bully**

**What game are you from? Bully (Playstation 2), Bully: Scholarship Edition (Wii, Xbox 360)**

* * *

I drank some of the water in my blue water bottle before asking some questions.

"Jimmy, how did you know about Super Smash Bros?" I asked.

"You know how Super Smash Bros is a televised event?" Jimmy replied.

"Yes. It's a popular show to watch on cable TV. Some even pay big bucks to watch it live." I verified.

"On the dorm TVs at my school, I saw Ness and Lucas having a death battle, before making out as a publicity stunt. After the show, it said that they were looking for new applicants." When Jimmy referenced the two physic kids kissing each other, multiple people ran out of the auditorium or vomited into their bags. The worst part is, Ness and Lucas had bought some front row tickets and were watching it too. They didn't look happy after Jimmy referenced the make out incident on TV.

"PK Thunder!" Lucas yelled. A purple thunderbolt emitted from the boy's head and pursued Jimmy. The bully dodged the attack and hid under the couch. Fearing for the boy's safety, I took out my dad's phone and tried to call security.

"Help…there's two physic kids trying to murder one of the interviewees." I voiced quietly. A few seconds later, four green Paratroopas carried Ness and Lucas out of the auditorium, just like what they did to that pink haired girl (I was outside when they carried her out of the auditorium and threw her on the streets).

"PK Fire!" Ness screeched. The physic boy threw a fireball at us and Jimmy caught on fire.

"Stop, drop, and roll!" the crowd chanted. Jimmy followed the instructions, but the floor also caught on fire too. The fire was about to swallow up Jimmy, but we heard a familiar Zelda ocarina tune playing from backstage. Clocks surrounded both of us as we fell into a white area of nothing. After that, we were back on stage, before the PK Incident. Ness and Lucas was still there, and the can of cola was now unopened.

"Let's try this again." I said.

* * *

**30 minutes later:**

"Thanks for joining us." I said to Jimmy.

"No problem." he answered. I placed his application in the "Possible" bin and he left. I looked at the list of interviewees and realized I forgot to call Ghirahim. I noticed him peeping from backstage to see what I was up to.

"The next person here is Ghirahim, the sword spirit of Demise." After I said that, a man teleported and sat on the couch. He had pale white hair covering his face, and I don't know how to describe his clothes.

"So Ghira.." I was paused when the creepy guy interrupted me.

"I prefer to be called Lord Ghirahim." Ghirahim interrupted.

"Can you show us your skills?" I asked. The sword spirit did not say a single word except snapping his fingers and sending red diamonds flying at me.

"WAH! I did nothing wrong!" I cried. It knocked me to the ground and completely burned my skin. I saw Ghirahim place his application in the bin before teleporting away. Lucario walked into the room and saw me. He carried me to a couch backstage before leaving.

* * *

**Lucario's POV:**

After carrying Bowser Jr to a, I walked back to the stage and saw Medusa sitting on the couch. Luckily, she was wearing sunglasses like in that Percy Jackson book.

"Come here." she cooed. I walked towards her and sat down next to her. "Where's Bowser?" Medusa asked concernedly.

"Um…he's in the hospital. I saw Ganondorf calling the hospital and the ambulance took him there." I replied.

"So tell me, why did you apply for Kid Icarus?" I used my aura to make a clipboard float in the air.

"I'm trying to challenge Palutena that I can be a good fighter too, and improve my image and the number of female characters. Palutena still thinks I'm a jerk who likes messing with people for fun." Medusa timidly touched her snakes.

"Hiss…." went the red snake.

"Well we have Peach, Daisy, Zelda, Jiggilypuff, Nana, and Samus." I said.

"That's still not enough. Nana can't be controlled, Jiggilypuff could be a boy posing as a girl, and Daisy is one of Peach's palette swaps. I hardly saw any girls at the waiting room, the only ones were Hilda, Paula, and Daisy." Medusa said.

"Wait, how did you know their names?" I said surprisingly.

"Jimmy told me about Hilda and Paula on the way to the backstage, and I already know who Daisy is." Medusa replied.

"You're a really intresting person." I nodded before placing her application in the "Possible" bin. Before Medusa could thank me, we were surprised when Pit stormed the stage.

"FREEZE MEDUSA!" Pit yelled.

"Hush, leave the room until I say so." Medusa instructed. I ran off, wondering if I may be petrified in the process. While waiting, I took out a tablet and chatted with my friends. I was still curious about what was going on, so I eavesdropped on the two.

"What did I do?" Medusa cried.

"Well I found you, and it's time for you to die." Pit announced.

"SHUT UP PIT, YOU'RE RUINING THE SHOW!" the crowd yelled. I heard a plastic object drop on the ground.

"Everyone, close your eyes until I say so."

"AH!" I think Medusa picked up her sunglasses.

"OK Lucario, you may come back. Everyone can open their eyes now." Medusa said sweetly. I walked back onto the stage and saw a statue of Pit with a post it note on it. Medusa was wearing her sunglasses and offered me to shake hands.

"It's time for me to go now. Thanks." Medusa faded away while I was looking at the note on Pit's head.

"You still suck, Palutena." said the note. Ganondorf walked in and gave me a paper.

"Read this to the audience." the Gerudo said.

"Um.. OK." I said awkwardly. I read the paper to the audience.

"Bowser is still in the hospital for an unknown amount of time. Bowser Jr, Ganondorf and Medusa will take over until he is released from the hospital. The producer would like to thank Plasmatrooper, a member of the Smashville Film Association for allowing this to be aired on national TV." I read.

"IT'S PLASMATROOPA!" a cyan Paratroopa hollered.


	7. Filler: A Note

**Link's POV:**

I walked into the games room and saw Marth, Ike, Pit and Ness playing some Pokémon with their Nintendo DSes.

"Hey Link, wanna join us?" Ness offered. His nimble fingers quickly mashed the buttons on his silver Nintendo DSi. I was pretty surprised that he wasn't with Lucas. Maybe he went out to buy some more games.

"Why aren't you with Lucas?" I asked concernedly.

"He went to the interviews with his father. I don't know why he wanted Lucas to come with him, but he left behind his DS." the physic kid replied. He showed me Lucas's giant red 3DS that he bought last week.

"Give me a second." I told Lucas. I ran upstairs to my room, so I can get my 3DS. Oddly, it wasn't there. I checked everywhere for it, but the 3DS didn't turn up anywhere. Giving up, I noticed someone slipped a piece of parchment underneath the door. I picked it up to read it. The parchment smelled luxurious, like leather bound books and there was a message on it too. It was written with a quill. My friends were waiting, so I brought it down for them to see.

"Link, did you find your DS?" Ike asked.

"No." I said sadly. "But I found this." I gave Ike the parchment.

"_The great end to the story will be revealed by the brother of the Hero Chosen by the Gods." _Ike read. "Link, you have a brother?" Everyone gasped.

"I never mentioned him because he was embarrassing to me and my family. You're right Ike, I have a little brother that was stuck in my shadow. I think his name was Liam or Luminous." I said.

"I bet your parents like the letter L." Ness replied.

"Oh wait, I remembered. His name was Larry." I continued.

"Larry? The script writer for Nintendo?" Marth exclaimed.

"Yes. He's really jealous of my fame ever since I nailed my audition for Twilight Princess. Everyone mistreats him because I'm his brother. He's a better actor than me, but they rejected him because 'he didn't have the looks'. They didn't even consider using a wig." I told them.

"Your brother's now famous." Pit replied. He showed me a video of him on one of Bowser's interviews.

"THIS IS BULLSHIT!" he yelled before storming out.

"He's now famous for that line." Pit finished.

* * *

**End of the story? This means that Larry will appear in the chapter after the 10th interview (aka the series finale). What will he do? Could he invade Smashville with some other comrades at his side? Or will he revive Subspace and recruit rejected applicants to destroy Nintendoland? Stay tuned!**

**In other news:**

**The next interview will be Mother-themed. Asides from Zoroark (it's application was translated), the interviewees are from the Mother (Mother, Earthbound, Mother 3) series. Five of the following characters will be interviewed: Kumatora, Claus, Paula, Jeff, Poo, Flint, Porky, Anna, Ninten, Loid.**


	8. Mother Part 1

**This chapter contains yaoi. If you hate yaoi, scroll down to the page (or press the down button if you're reading this on mobile).**

**Edit (September 6): School has just started and the chapters will be rolling out at a slower pace. Fortunately, I take Information Technology (computer class) and have access to Fanfiction during free time and breaks. **

* * *

**Bowser Jr's POV:**

I woke up on a comfy couch in my father's dressing room. Oh yeah, I remembered. Ghirahim was showing me his moves and accidentally harmed me. He fled while Lucario picked me up and placed me on the couch. Anyway, I still have people to interview. In a pile is the applications numerous characters sent. Included was Zoroark's translated application. It was typed up instead of written because Lucario typed it up.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Zoroark**

**Weapons (any): Dark Type moves**

**Armor (any): Fur**

**Your Abilities: Illusions**

**Your Achievements: I'm just a wild Pokémon with aura.**

* * *

I walked to the stage with the application to see Zoroark and Lucario sitting on a leather couch.

"Hello Zoroark."

"Zoro." said the werewolf.

"It's saying that he's happy to be here." Lucario said. I thought of what original question I could ask the Illusion Fox Pokémon.

"Well thanks for applying for Super Smash Bros 4." I nodded. Zoroark whispered in Lucario's ears about something.

"It said that it was a Pokémon Contest winner once and its trainer wants it to compete in Super Smash Bros for fame." Lucario said while playing with aura.

"You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and thrown into a blender. The blades of the blender start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?" I said. I heard mumbles from the audience about what they would do while Lucario tried to explain the question to Zoroark. Zoroark replied to Lucario before the Aura Pokémon gave me its answer.

"It would try to use brute force until the blender glass tips over and escape from there." Lucario told me. He was still playing with the aura ball but he accidentally threw it at Zoroark. It deflected the ball at Lucario.

"Oof!" Lucario went. The ball of aura burnt patches of his fur, making him look like a cheetah or some spotted animal.

"Go put your application in the 'Possible' box." I instructed.

The Illusion Fox Pokémon teleported away, while I saw some other crew members carried the Aura Pokémon away. I took a nap, but a prepubescent voice woke me up.

"Bowser, I have someone who I'd like you to interview!" the voice called. I looked behind and saw Ness walk into the room with a girl his age. She has blue eyes, a fair complexion and curly golden blond hair worn long. The girl wore a dress made from pink fabric. It has a medium-length flared skirt and short puffy sleeves. It was with a white ribbon that acted like a belt. Pinned to the back of the girl's hair is a large red bow.

"This is Paula. She's my girlfriend."

"Wait; are you still mad because Jimmy called you and Lucas a homo?" I asked suspiciously.

"Who's Jimmy?" Ness questioned.

"He's an applicant who saw you and Lucas battle on TV. I've heard nasty rumors about what you did with Lucas." I mocked.

"Why would you do that Ness? I thought we were friends." Paula said.

"It's a misunderstanding…And Bowser, I didn't do anything to him." Ness stammered.

"Bowser Jr was right!" Ganondorf chuckled while walking into the room with a projector and laptop. He got it set up, went on YouTube, typed in "ness kissed lucas" and several videos of the scandal showed on the search results. The ones on the first page were responses by big breasted reply girls and other comments by celebrities. "There it is!" the Gerudo said. He clicked a link called "MY PET DEKU SCRUB" by RoyWilliamJohnson.

"Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. This song doesn't rhyme. But no one cares." Roy sang. His orange flame-like hair made all the girls fangirl while the boys had hatred in their eyes. Ganondorf allowed the viewers to watch the first two videos, which was a video of a person feeding a Deku Scrub. After that, Roy commented over a video of Red screaming while playing a FPS game.

"Alright guys, here's the last video. It's this make out video between two popular Smashers, Ness Onett and Lucas Itoi." Roy said. "This video got 1 million views in less than 3 days." A counter rolling up to 1 million appeared over Roy's head.

"So there's this team battle between Ness and Lucas versus Snake and Captain Falcon." Roy commented.

_A Smash Ball appeared on the stage and the contestants were flocking to it. Ness managed to hit the ball with his wooden baseball bat and do the Final Smash._

"_PK….STARSTORM!" the physic kid yelled. Meteors appeared on the stage, knocking out Snake and Captain Falcon."_

"And do you want to know what happens next?" Roy asked the viewers sarcastically. The scene cuts to the victory scene where Ness and Lucas got congratulated. Ness faced Lucas to say something.

"_Lucas…do you love me?" Ness said meekly in the video. Lucas's face head lowered shyly, making the viewers assumes he had a secret to tell. Ness repeated those five words, but Lucas still didn't listen. Ness simply repeated those words louder._

"…" _Lucas was playing with his tiny fingers. Ness kissed the blond boy on the cheeks, which Lucas quickly reacted too. "I love you Ness." Lucas announced loud. He pulled Ness's face towards him while closing his eyes, both lips molded together, perfectly._

"GAY ALERT, GAY ALERT!" Roy yelled. He was back in the reviewing room. "If any of you were disturbed by this video, you don't seem to mind if I play it again?"

_Roy played the kissing scene again, but the video also showed a bonus scene. It focused on a candy in Lucas's mouth while the two were French kissing. It was a flame red hard candy, so it may have been cherry, strawberry or raspberry._

"_Tasty." Ness moaned._

"There's also something hidden in the video, but it's only seen in the eyes of a careful watcher or a *bleep* pervert. I can't show it because it violates YouTube's guidelines, but try if you can find it." Roy laughed. "Thank you for watching this and see you next episode." Ganondorf closed the laptop, took down the makeshift theater and went backstage. I noticed Paula sobbing and her face looked all red. This gave me a guilt trip and I felt sorry for the poor girl.

"We can do something about it." Ness bargained as he attempted to hold Paula's hand. But Paula didn't listen.

"YEAH, BUT YOU'RE STILL GAY!" Roy hollered from backstage (he worked part-time here when not reviewing videos)

"Shut up Roy." Ness snapped.

"It's over." Paula said sadly.

"Ness, you're upstaging her. Please leave." I told the physic kid.

"OK." Ness nodded. He walked backstage, sadly. I talked to Paula.

"When you have calmed down, we can start the interview." I said while I gave her a tissue. I looked at the application that I received from Toadette. The handwriting is in pencil, but in cursive writing.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros Character Auditions:**

**Your Character: Paula Polestar**

**Weapons (your best): Holy Fry Pan**

**Armor (your best): Goddess Band, Goddess Ribbon, Lucky Coin, Star Pendant**

**Your Abilities: PSI Magic (Freeze, Fire, Thunder, Magnet, Shield)**

**Your Accomplishments: Saved the world from Giygas**

**What game are you in? Earthbound/Mother 2 (SNES), Mother 3 (Game Boy Advance, cameo)**

* * *

"Hey I know you!" I exclaimed. "You were the one who taught Ness how to use PK Fire, Thunder and Magnet!"

"That's me! On a regular night, Ness rang the doorbell looking all panicky. He was scared that he didn't have good moves for Super Smash Bros, so I taught him some of my moves." Paula replied

"Did you teach him PK Starstom?" I asked.

"No, that was Poo." When Paula said it, I noticed the preteen and teenage boys burst into laughter.

"She said Poo, what a comedy genius!" Hilbert cracked up. They're so immature, laughing at childish jokes related to sexuality, bodily functions, or private parts.

"Grow up!" Paula hollered at the audience.

"So, I'll place your application in the box." I said to Paula. I placed the application in the Possible box. We were about to wrap up the interview when a giant stage light fell on me and Paula.

"Sorry!" Iggy called. "I was just changing the lights!"

"Iggy, change the lights when we're on commercial…" I collapsed from the intense pressure on my body, while Paula collapsed a few seconds later.

* * *

**Ganondorf's POV:**

I walked back in to check on Bowser Jr, but I saw a giant stage light covering two pairs of hands. I lifted it and moved it in front of the backstage. Underneath the light was Bowser Jr and some girl crushed by the weight of the light.

"Morton! Larry!" I called. Morton and Larry (the Koopaling) walked in. "Please carry those two kids backstage!" Morton dragged Bowser Jr backstage, while Larry lifted the girl and carried her like a fireman. After that, Lucas and a tall man dressed as a cowboy with a 2x4 entered the room.

"Dad, why do I have to go with you? I'm not required here!" Lucas cried. The man ignored Lucas and dragged him into the room.

"You didn't send an application." I said. I continued to go on about the policies, when the cowboy cupped my mouth.

"The mushroom woman told me to bring my application here." he said. He handed me his application. I noticed that he filled the blank spaces with a black pen. The pressure made ridges on the back of the paper.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros Character Auditions:**

**Your Character: Flint**

**Weapons (your best): Fresh Lumber**

**Armor (your best): Ordinary Hat, Chick Bandana, Aquarius Bracelet**

**Your Abilities: Brute Force**

**Your Accomplishments: Defeated a dragon with a piece of lumber, father of Lucas**

**What game are you from?: Mother 3 (Game Boy Advance, originally for Nintendo 64)**

* * *

I don't know what a brute force is, but it sounds really godly. "Tell me more about that Brute Force." I said.

"It's something I get instead of those PSI stuff like my son or that Ness kid. It's why I'm strong like you!" Flint chuckled. I felt bad for Lucas because his father forced him to come here. He looked bored and I heard murmur smack about his father.

"Here you go Lucas." I handed him the black 3DS that I took, I mean borrowed from Link.

"Yay!" Lucas took the 3DS and started playing with it.

"Back to you Flint..." A teenage voice interrupted us.

"I'm sorry Flint, but you don't have what it takes to be a smasher." We looked back to see Larry, Link's obnoxious rejected brother. "What?" he asked rudely.

"Bowser told you, we are not putting you in the game." I yelled. Larry stood up.

"This is still bullshit. Link gets all the celebrity status, and what do I get? Oh, a script writer for Nintendo, really exciting. He doesn't have any talent or powers except for that silly triangle on his hand. What does he have? A petty sword, a small shield and multiple pieces of equipment. Yeah, really cool for some little elf boy like him. That's not fair…." Larry whined as he went on. "And the wife of the man you're interviewing is stupid enough to get killed. She could have taken the kids and run off….." Larry complained. I do hate Link, but he's more annoying than that green ChuChu summoned by that racist princess (She hates Gerudos like me). I cracked my knuckles to do something, but someone grabbed my hand.

"Let me take care of him." he offered. The cowboy picked up his 2x4, snuck up behind Larry and swung the lumber.

"TWACK!" Flint whacked him right in the head, knocking him out. I was about to ask another question when my troll sense tingled, as a malicious grin formed in my mouth. "Um Ganon, are you OK?" the cowboy asked concernedly.

"Oh yeah. You know how you brought the old man to defeat the dragon?" I asked maliciously.

"Uh..yes." Flint stammered.

"Did you use the old man as dragon bait?" I snorted. The crowd howled with laughter. I even saw Lucas giggle as he played the 3DS I let him use.

"Yeah dad, did you?" Lucas chortled sarcastically, before continuing his game. Flint's face turned red and snatched the 3DS from Lucas, tearing the two screens apart. He placed the broken 3DS on the ground, and stomped on it. I don't know what to say to Link about it.

* * *

**Link's POV (at home):**

Marth, Pit, Ike, Ness and I were still in the games room. I didn't have my DS, so I felt like watching a little TV. I turned it on and I noticed something shocking about the fate of my DS. Ganondorf took my DS without asking and let Lucas play with it. Worst of all, his father broke my DS into pieces. I sat there in front of the TV with my mouth wide open.

"Wh…what? Ganondorf took my DS?" I said while crying.

"What's the matter Link? Man up already!" Ike called.

"How can I if that cowboy broke my DS in front of everyone watching? That was a limited edition DS!" I sobbed.

"Don't worry, we're here for you. We'll report him for theft." Marth tried to calm me.

* * *

**Ganondorf's POV:**

"This isn't funny Lucas and that's really disrespectful to your grandfather. I'm also ashamed about what you did with that Ness kid too." he said angrily. He pounded his lumber on the floor, making a huge whacking sound, before walking towards me.

"Try and fight me, you can't defeat me due to my Triforce of Power!" I laughed. He ignored me and hit me on the head. Oh wait, that gloved hand forced Link, Zelda and I deposit our Triforce pieces into a vault. He claimed that we were too overpowered with those and we need "dramatic nerfs".

"Ganondorf." he said while whacking me on the head. "This…is….not…funny!" he screamed. Between each word, Flint whacked me once on the body. When he got to the "funny" part, he did a Power Smash on me and knocked me out. At the same time, Bowser walked in, surprised by what Flint did. The cowboy started talking to the Koopa.

"Ouch." I moaned.

* * *

**Flint's POV:**

I'm really embarrassed by what Lucas done. First he made out with a guy and now he and Ganondorf insulted me? I'm taking him back to Tazmily until they announce the next season.

I looked around and saw blank stares. There was a red box with the possible applicants, so I placed my application in the bin and grabbed Lucas's hand.

"We're going home." I told Lucas. We looked at the floor and saw Ganondorf and Larry still moaning in pain. "That's what they get if they messed with me." I said to Lucas. Before we could leave, Bowser walked on the stage, noticing the knocked out bodies. Think Flint, what could you do to prevent yourself from getting rejected? I know, I'll simply apologize to him.

* * *

**Bowser's POV:**

I was still relaxing on the couch backstage, a few hours after they released me from the hospital. My daughter, Wendy walked into the room.

"Bowser, there'a a man injuring your friend!" Wendy yelled. She pulled my hand and escorted me to the stage. The scene looked surprising. An angry cowboy was swinging his lumber like mad. On the floor were Ganondorf and Larry.

"This is embarrassing. I'm really sorry for what happened. I've overreacted like that ever since my wife died." the cowboy said. Roy walked in with his video camera.

"Yeah, but I'm still putting that on my show." Roy said while showing the cowboy his video camera with the incident playing. He grabbed the camera from Roy, smashed it and stabbed the lumber into the ex-Smasher's body.

"I was just joking!" Roy cried as he fell to the floor.

"Lucas, we're going home until the next tournament begins." the man said to Lucas.

"What about Claus?" I asked, while pointing towards him.

"He can stay." the cowboy replied. "I'll take Lucas back to the hotel." He left the stage with Lucas, while Claus sat down and opened a can of soda. I looked at my watch. There was a minute left, not enough time to interview Claus.

"This wraps our show. We'll interview Claus, two more Mother characters and some other 3rd party characters. I've got some calls from some of our fans about Sora, so we may bring him in next episode."

"This episode is brought to you by:" said a female voice.

_A commercial played showing some bored kids eating their lame lunches. Suddenly, Captain Falcon appeared from nowhere._

"_FALCON….LUNCH!" He showed the viewers a premade lunch combination package showing cheese, crusts, and sauce. It was possibly a pizza lunch combination. Anyway, he handed the kids the lunch kits as they wolfed it in joy._

"_YAY!" cheered the kids._

"_Captain Falcon's Falcon Lunch! A healthy lunch kit for your children!" the male voice said._

* * *

**So there's part 1! I got the Ask Mishieru thing set up (askmishieru) on Tumblr, so you can submit character requests and any personal questions you have about me or my fanfictions.**_  
_


	9. Mother and Sora Part 2

**Note: Because interviewing 6 applicants in 1 chapter is too long, I broke it down into 2 parts. Therefore the two interview parts are actually one interview, and there are 4 more chapters (fillers not included) until Larry finishes the story…**

* * *

**Claus's POV:**

It's been 30 minutes already since Bowser started the commercial break. There's something I still wonder. Why did Dad take Lucas back home and not me? Anyway while waiting, I chatted with some of the stage crew until Bowser called me.

"We're filming in 10 minutes!" Bowser called from the stage. I put away my Playstation, and ran to entrance to the front stage. I heard Bowser talk to the audience about who they're interviewing and I also heard him talking about Porky (ex-boss) and Jeff (some guy I hardly know).

* * *

**Bowser's POV:**

"To continue our Mother themed episode, we're now interviewing Claus, Lucas's brother and the Masked Man." I announced into a microphone. The crowd clapped while a palette swap of Lucas walked into the room.

"Sorry for delaying you. We didn't have enough time to interview you last episode." I apologized. I looked at the application written in pencil.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Claus**

**Weapons (your best): PSI, unnamed yellow saber, arm cannon**

**Armor (your best): Masked Man helmet **

**Your Abilities: PSI**

**Your Accomplishments: Commander of the Pig Army**

**What game are you from? Mother 3 (Game Boy Advance), Super Smash Bros Brawl (Wii, sticker, palette swap)**

* * *

"Here's something we're all wondering about. You died in Mother 3, but you're still alive. How did you do this feat?" When I said it, the crowd gasped.

"Some people said that my mom sent me back here to 'have a chance to lead a full life'. Others say that the Dark Dragon revert the Pigmask's actions, which resurrected me. My dad and Lucas also know the real answer, but they're respecting my wishes by keeping it a secret. It's so we can let the fan's imaginations run wild, just like how people think that Lucas's friend, Ness is my dad." Claus twiddled his fingers.

"I heard about your ability to also transform into the Masked Man. How are you going to use it? Are you going to use it as a final smash or use it as a special move like Zelda or Sheik?" I said. Claus transformed into the Masked Man and toyed with the buttons on his arm cannon.

"I'm not sure. I'll leave that to Master Hand if I make it." Claus replied. He pressed a blue button on his cannon and a few bullets came shooting at me. At the same time, Flint came back on the stage.

"Claus! We're goin' home in…" Luckily, I dodged the bullets, but they sped towards the cowboy, hitting him in his left arm. Lemmy, who was serving Claus some food, ran backstage.

"Just like Lucas, you're grounded when we get back." Flint told Claus. Lemmy came back and crudely wrapped a gauze bandage around the cowboy's arm.

"What the…" Flint interrupted Claus by picking him up and attempting to drag him out.

"That's still going on my show!" Roy said while holding a cell phone. He must had woke up and hanged around.

"How did you wake up so early?" Flint yelled. He dropped Claus and chased Roy around on the stage.

"OK, I give up!" cried Roy. He tossed Flint a can of Easy Cheese and walked away. The cowboy glanced at the can, confused. "Come back here and tell me what's that!" he demanded. Immediately, Roy walked back in.

"It's spray cheese. Now if you don't like what I do on my show, leave me alone." Roy replied.

"Well I never heard of it, but it looks interesting." Flint fumbled around with the can, until he found out how it works. However, the can sprayed cheese all over his face. Embarrassed, he picked up Claus again and dragged him out successfully. I placed Claus's application into the box and checked the list. There were still 4 more characters to interview; they were Jeff, Porky, Sora and Knuckles. I heard a whoosh and a scream, and it distracted me from my checking. I looked back and saw Wendy crying because some bottle rocket hit her in the eye.

"Sorry!" a prepubescent voice called. "Porky tried to take it from me, but it got out of control."

"I did not!" cried another prepubescent voice.

"Stop fighting!" I demanded. "We need a Porky Minch on the stage now, or we'll cancel the interview!" A short, chubby boy waddled on the stage, before teleporting to the couch. He has blond hair that covered his eyes and wore worn blue overalls.

"Is that how you talk to the Pig King?" the boy said in a rude voice. Several pig soldiers walked in and surrounded me. They look weak and I can beat them up, but I'm not sure if it will provoke Porky.

"…" I said.

"Can we just get the interview started? I have a meeting with Claus." Porky whined.

"Fine, but Claus went back home with his family." I said. Porky handed me his application. He wrote the application in black pen, and it was slightly wet. Maybe it was his tears after crying about the loss of his friend.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros Character Audition:**

**Your Character: Porky/Pokey Minch**

**Weapons (your best): Spider Mecha, yoyo**

**Armor (your best): Absolutely Safe Capsule, Spider Mecha**

**Your Abilities: PSI, the ability to command some Pigmasks**

**Your Achievements: Joined a cult, chief advisor for a mayor, stole a helicopter, nearly destroyed the world, traveled through time (twice) raised an army, became king.**

**What game are you from? Earthbound/Mother 2 (SNES), Mother 1 + 2 (Game Boy Advance), Mother 3 (Game Boy Advance), Super Smash Bros Brawl (Wii, boss, sticker, trophy)**

* * *

"Just a vague question, but why do they call you Porky?" I read from a paper.

"Pork jokes, pork jokes, everywhere. My name is Pokey, but my fans like that Tomato guy found out that my name is similar to Porky. So they thought its 'funny' to make some pig-related puns about me. Nintendo joined the fun by even calling me that in Super Smash Bros Brawl." Porky said.

"Hey Hogzilla, lose some weight! If you need some help doing that, join the Pen 15 club. All you need to do is let us write it on your hand!" Brandon called. Porky said nothing but pointed at the Pokémon trainer. A couple Pigmasks jumped up to the seat where Brandon was sitting and dragged him out.

"That's better." Porky took a bite from a hamburger before burping.

"Why do you want to upgrade your role from boss to playable character?" I asked.

"Ness recently taunted me with a leaked document from the Smash Files about me being a playable character." Porky showed me the paper.

* * *

**Earthbound/Mother 3 Series:**

**Characters: **

**Ness**

**Lucas**

**Kumatora**

**Porki**

* * *

I noticed that they misspelled Porky's name and they also struck it out too. It said "Let's add Lucas instead, we need some Mother 3 stuff. At least we can make Porky a boss." Ness walked in and noticed Porky too.

"Come and get me, loser! Spankety, Spankety! Spankety!" Ness taunted before sticking out his tongue. Porky snapped his fingers and pointed at Ness. Several green Pigmasks came out of nowhere and started chasing Ness.

"OW! I'M SORRY!" Ness yelled.

"Bowser, put some commercials over this!" Ness cried. "Please!" We both glanced at Ness while Porky ripped open a bag of Pork Chips and offered me some.

"This is going to be good." Porky chortled. I grabbed a few pieces of Pork Chips and popped them into my mouth. It has a greasy texture, but tasted like dried bacon.

"How could you Bowser?" sobbed Ness. The green Pigmasks were using him as a beach ball and playing some catch with it.

"Joke's over boys." one of the green Pigmasks said. He slammed the kid on the ground, just like Ganondorf did to me and Groose. Porky looked at his Pig Watch.

"My time is up, see you around." Porky said. He teleported out, while the Pigmasks walked out. Jeff ran on the stage.

"Is he gone?" Jeff panicked.

"He is." I said straightly. "Porky also left some chips that you can eat." Jeff walked to the table and took a bite from a single chip, before spitting it out.

"Yuck! I hate grease!" sputtered Jeff. Two kids wearing hats which look like fruits came in.

"Are they also here to join the crew?" I questioned.

"No, they're just here for support." Jeff replied. "Orange Kid recently patented his egg unboiling method in the Smashville Patent Office and needed something to do." The three of them sat down, while the kid in the apple hat handed me Jeff's application. Jeff wrote the application in fountain pen and I can tell by the ink splotches in it.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Auditions**

**Your Character: Jeff Andonuts**

**Weapons (your best): Gaia Beam, Multi Bottle Rocket, Heavy Bazooka**

**Armor (your best): Souvenir Coin, Cherub's Band, Star Pendant**

**Your Abilities: Repairing, Spying**

**Your Achievements: Snuck out of a boarding school, son of Dr. Andonuts (famous scientist), expelled zombies from a city, saved the world**

**What game are you from? Earthbound/Mother 2 (SNES), Mother 1+2 (Game Boy Advance), Mother 3 (Game Boy Advance, cameo), Super Smash Bros: Brawl (Wii, assist trophy)**

* * *

"Tell me more about why you want to upgrade your role from an Assist Trophy to a playable character." I said, in a slightly muffed voice (I was eating Pork Chips at the same time).

"Last year, Paula, Poo and I auditioned for Super Smash Bros: Brawl. I made it, but they replaced me with Lucas because Mr. Itoi wants to promote Mother 3. They gave me a role as an Assist Trophy to make it up. We get the same perks like the Smashers, but we don't live in Smash Mansion." Jeff replied while fixing an item.

"He said Poo again! He's another comedy genius along with that sandwich making bitch!" Hilbert yelled from the audience. Jeff pulled out a remote control from his pocket.

"What did you just call my friend?" Jeff said in a slightly angry voice.

"Oh, is she your girlfriend?" another Pokémon trainer mocked. He has a red newsboy cap and wore a blue jacket.

"NOW!" Jeff yelled. He pressed the button, and a bottle rocket came out of nowhere hitting the Pokémon trainer.

"My eye!" yelled the trainer. He ran around before Hilbert had to escort him out.

"Where do you get all those parts for your weapons?" I asked curiously.

"I've lived here for a while, so I get the parts from Snake, broken Wire Frames and Alloys, and R.O.B's used….." We heard some hissing sounds from under the couch. I tried to fish it out, but it was superglued to the floor.

"Larry, I know it's you!" I yelled.

"Listen Bowser, I can't make bombs from scratch!" Larry hollered back. We got some more evidence from this theory. The bomb is professionally made, so Larry couldn't have done it. It has a white smoke coming out from it, so it couldn't be that Magnus guy (his bombs are purple).

"If it wasn't you Larry, then who planted the bomb?" Jeff asked.

"That would be me." Hilbert replied. "I got sick of all of you overreacting to us. Why can't you take a joke instead of ramming a bottle rocket into Brandon's eye. And that was to distract you from the beeping."

"Beep…Beep…Beep." The hissing noises changed to some beeping.

"BOOM!" The whole stage exploded, while we could all hear Hilbert's evil laughter.

* * *

**Ganondorf's POV:**

Why does the stage have to get destroyed every now and then? I know we have the Easy Button, but why can't Bowser and the applicants act more careful? I walked in and saw Bowser, Jeff, and two kids with an apple and orange hat lying on the ground. I shoved them off the couch and looked at the list of interviewees.

**Claus, Porky, Jeff,**** Sora, Knuckles **

"Our next interviwee is also from Square Enix, that one company who makes all those weeaboo games." I told the crowd negatively.

"Shut up Ganondork. You're just jealous that Sephiroth won by a landslide in a video game villain contest." one girl commented. She wore a t-shirt with Sephiroth's face on it.

"Why do you have to bash someone's opinion? It's his opinion to hate the company I work for, but he's putting his job over personal preferences." a teenager criticized while entering the stage with some strange key sword. He looks like Pit, but he wore a white and black over jacket over his red jumpsuit, a pair of white gloves, some yellow boots, and a crown necklace.

"OMG ITS SORA!" yelled the girls.

"SORA, I WANT TO MARRY YOU!" yelled a blond girl. She reminds me of those Justine Bidoof fangirls. Sora ignored the comments and sat down. He took a bite from a chocolate popsicle, before wolfing down the thing.

"This is good, but the sea salt ice cream is better." he replied. "Anyway, here you go." I received his application and read it over.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros Character Auditions:**

**Your Character: Sora**

**Weapons (your best): Keyblade, my friends.**

**Armor (your best): I don't wear armor.**

**Your Abilities: Time Travelling, camouflage, Keyblade, magic, superhuman strength**

**Your Achievements: Wielder of the Keyblade**

**What game are you from? Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories (Game Boy Advance), Kingdom Hearts 358/2 (Nintendo DS), Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance (Nintendo 3DS)**

* * *

"Bowser recently told me that one of your friends, Cloud came here to become Square Enix's Super Smash Bros rep. Why did you also come?" I cringed my eyebrow.

"They sent me to also promote Disney games. Apparently, Disney isn't one of those people who wants to send their popular cartoon characters, so they chose to send me."

"I've seen you with those Key swords in-game. How do you use it?"

"It's actually made from a lighter metal, but it's still heavy. So Square Enix pays for our massages after filming." Sora replied.

"Had any of you seen my kid?" Flint interrupted, while he entered the stage. I hate that goddamn cowboy ever since I made fun of him once, and I'm pretty happy he didn't bring poor Lucas too.

"Which one? The blond or the red one?" Sora questioned. Flint took out a photo showing Claus. Cameras? Isn't Tazmily a low-tech village who didn't use electronics?

"Cool story Flint, but I have a better story. It's a fairy tale. Once upon a time, no one gave a shit. The end." I mocked. Sora and the audience laughed, before the keybearer realized something.

"That's the man who used his father-in-law as dragon bait! I saw it all on TV!" Sora laughed.

"I did not!" Flint yelled. He grabbed a nearby piece of lumber and attempted to attack Sora and I. We both dodged the attack, but we noticed Bowser, Jeff, the apple kid and the orange kid waking up. The keybearer and I took refuge behind a couch.

"No! Don't do it Flint! It'll make everything worse if you do!" the apple kid warned. Flint replied with a whack to the fat boy's stomach. Bowser tried to grab the lumber from the cowboy, but Flint managed to whack him on the head. Jeff came and tried to grab the lumber too.

"Please stop, the audience is listening!" Jeff begged. The cowboy ignored him and hit his body. Everyone gasped because an adult had hit an innocent child. I'm predicting tomorrow that Flint will be the main subject on newspapers and rumors about him and Lucas will spread like wildfire.

"I'm going to stop this madness." Sora whispered. He walked in front of Flint and sliced the lumber in half, but the cowboy used the other half to hit him hard. I notice a weird dragon in red armor teleport behind Flint and bashed his/her sword on the head. I take it as "HeadStrike, apply directly to the forehead." The cowboy fainted, and the dragon transformed into a human/hybrid boy.

"Next time, don't kick the girl out. She makes a good security guard." the boy commented before exiting the stage. Girl? I don't remember kicking any girls out from the show. Unless it was Bowser. Sora quietly left the stage before Flint could wake up, and I looked at the list Bowser left. Knuckles was still yet to be interviewed.

"Our next interviewee is Knuckles." I announced. I looked at the entrance and he hadn't come out yet.

"Knuckles?" I called. The stage was so quiet that you can hear the crickets chirping. I called a couple of times, but the red echidna didn't come out. Maybe it was because Sega prevented him from coming because Sonic is their representative for Super Smash Bros.

"IF YOU'RE NOT COMING, THAT'S FINE WITH ME. WE ALREADY HAVE SONIC IN THE GAME!" I hollered. No reply. Lemmy ran in with a paper.

"Lemmy, I thought you were supposed to help the cameramen?" I questioned.

"Sorry. Toadette wants me to give this to you." The Koopaling handed me a note. It has the official Sega logo, so the letter might tell us what happened to Knuckles.

"Dear Bowser, Knuckles is not attending for a personal reason. From Bob Sega." I read.

"Sorry guys, Knuckles isn't coming. Sega logic perhaps?" I questioned. The crowd whined as I told the cameramen to finish filming.

"Next episode, I will take over the interviews again until Bowser recovers. Therefore, I'll handpick the interviewees for the next episode. Send the fanmail, fans!" I called.

"This episode is brought to you by the Game Actors Guild. Protecting the rights of game actors one after another." a male voice said.

* * *

**I wanted to make Flint slap Claus with a 2x4, but I omitted it due to child violence/abuse. Larry isn't a problem because he trespassed on the stage on purpose.**

**Because the chapters are beign churned out at longer intervals, I'm going to give the readers two choices. The first choice is that I will release more chapters, but less people will be interviewed. The other option is to let Bowser interview more people, but they will take longer to be made.**

**Weeaboo = Wannabe Japanese**

**Porky becoming a playable character in Brawl is a made-up story. Don't waste your time Googling it.**

**Hint for next chapter: Two fillers, one about Larry, the other about why Knuckles didn't come to the interviews.**

**In other news:**

**Like I said in the earlier chapters, I have school. Here are my plans for September-December:**

**September: More chapters for Bad Luck Bowser, various oneshots, new chapter once a week or so.**

**October: Super Smash Bros Halloween special, series finale for Bowser's Interviews**

**November: Phantom's Mother Misadventures (MapleStory/Earthbound crossover, about Phantom's misadventures in the Mother series, not the final title)**

**December: Christmas special (Super Smash Bros)**


	10. Filler: Knuckles and another Note

**Knuckles's POV (1 week ago):**

Ah, break time. I love break times. It's the time where I don't have to worry about crashing into random cars during filming. At exactly 12:45, I walked into the break room and sat on a couch. It was blue, like Sonic's fur and is perfect for sleeping on. I don't sleep during breaks now ever since Shadow did a shaving cream prank on me a couple of months ago. But let's forget about that. I placed my lunch box on the table and dumped the contents out of the box. It's the usual. A variety of fruits bounced on the table and I gobbled them up in a few seconds. I was about to pick up a controller, when my phone vibrated. It's a text, and it's from my boss. Why can't my boss leave me alone during breaks? I unlocked my phone to check the text.

_Please come to my office. I need to have a talk with you. Right now._

A talk? Why now? Can't he see that I'm trying to enjoy my break? Well if he wants me to come now, I'll come. Maybe it's that promotion I'm dying for. I walked to the office and saw my boss sitting with a paper in his hands.

"Please sit down." said my boss. I obeyed his orders and sat down on a leather chair. "It's about your application to Super Smash Bros."

"Did they accept my application?" I beamed.

"It's not that, but we're asking you to cancel your application. Sonic is already our placeholder for the game, and we don't want anyone other than him in Super Smash Bros. So we're giving you a few days to cancel your application, or we're terminating your contract." my boss said in a serious voice. Wait? They want me to cancel my application? It's not fair! Sonic is a playable character, Shadow is an Assist Trophy, and I only get a sticker, cameo on a stage, and a trophy. Really exciting. "And if you tell Master Hand or anybody about this, say goodbye to your role in Sonic." my boss blackmailed. I nodded in approval and left the office. Blaze and Rouge noticed me depressed and they quietly giggled. Sonic dashed quickly, and had no sympathy for me.

"Way to go, Knucklehead." He taunted. It's not right. But all I can do in the 4th game is reprising my role as a measly cameo.

* * *

**Link's POV (Present Day):**

We've already reported Ganondorf to Master Hand about his theft and it compensated me by buying me an extra-large 3DS. The large screen is nice, but I miss the Zelda 3DS I got with Ocarina of Time 3D. I noticed Nana reading a newspaper and I saw Lucas's dad on the cover. She placed it back on the coffee table and left the room. I was a bit curious about the issue and why Lucas's dad made the front page, so I picked it up and read it.

* * *

**FLINT LOCKWOOD ASSAULTS INNOCENT CHILDREN ON TV SHOW**

_SMASHWOOD – Flint Lockwood, the father of the notable child fighter Lucas Lockwood, is charged with multiple counts of assault. All charges occurred after he attacked multiple people on national television. The victims of the incident were Larry Burrows, Ganondorf Dragmire, Roy William Johnson, Apple Kid (name kept anonymous), Orange Kid (name kept anonymous), Bowser Koopa, Jeff Andonuts, and Sora Kibredo._

_Officers were summoned to the stage after filming when one of their children was watching the show during a "Bring your Children to Work Day". When they arrived on scene, they saw Burrows, Apple Kid, Orange Kid, and Andonuts unconscious and lying on the floor._

_They say that Burrows has sustained serious head injuries and is in a deep coma, Dragmire and Koopa has a minor head injury, Apple Kid received some rib fractures, and Andonuts sustained multiple broken bones._

_All victims were rushed to the hospital after the incident._

_Police are trying to determine the cause of the assault._

"_When we arrived at the scene, the only person conscious was Ganondorf." says Chief Officer Carpainter. "Dragmire said that Kibredo was also assaulted, but he was the first person to regain conscious. Dragmire tried to stop him until he could call us, but he ignored him and attempted to leave."_

_They also noticed Kibredo and a 13-year-old dragon boy, Kaiser Drago exiting the stage. Both witnesses have been detained for questioning._

"_Flint? The guy who used the old man as dragon bait?" Kibredo replied. "I know him. I tried to stop his insanity, but the only thing I did was break his weapon in half. I'm pretty lucky that I only got a large bruise, but I wonder what happened to everyone else. Hope that Lucas kid takes him to therapy or something."_

"_I was in the audience when that happened." Drago answered. "That cowboy was swinging his 2x4 wildly, hurting the innocent children. I knew that his madness must be stopped, so I transformed into my Dragon form and knocked him out for the sake of humanity. If Bowser didn't kick Tear aka Angelic Burster out, then she could have prevented the incident with her powerful attacks."_

"_This wasn't the first time he flew into a rage like that." Claus Lockwood, other son of Lockwood commented. "After he heard that my mom died, I saw him stab one of his friends with a piece of lumber. I didn't get to see the whole thing because Tessie covered my eyes so we won't see it." _

_We've reached out to Flint and Lucas for comment and will update the story when we hear back._

* * *

I wanted to show the other Smashers that article, so I looked for a piece of paper to act as a bookmark. I found one, and it was another piece of parchment, the same one I found in my room a few weeks ago. I turned it over to find anything suspicious.

_The brother of the Hero Chosen by the Gods will rise. But he is not alone. The rejected ones will ally. The dark emissary will be forsaken. The glorious civilization will fall._

Seems legit. I'll use that as a bookmark and see if anyone can understand it.

* * *

**Kibredo = Keyblade in Japanese**


	11. Knuckles Returns

**Ganondorf's POV:**

I took a break after the interviews, so I went to a table and started to eat a bologna sandwich, while patting my bandaged head (Screw you Flint!). My phone vibrated in my pocket, so I checked it. It's a text. From Morton, one of the stage employees.

"_Ganondork, while you were taking a break, an interviewee and a friend have been called to the stage. I already got them seated and I'm keeping them entertained. Hurry Ganon, the audience members are starting to leave!"_

I dropped my sandwich and ran to the stage. I fell down due to the heavy armor, but I managed to run there. When I got back to the stage, I saw a young man in boxing gear, and a black guy in a track suit (Black? You don't like black? That's racist!).

"One, two, one two." said the coach. The boxer was throwing punches in the air, like if there was an invisible opponent standing there. The coach and the boxer looked at us. While the boxer continued to throw punches in mid-air, the coach gave me an application.

"I'm Doc. Louis, Little Mac's coach and representative. I'm here to upgrade his role from an Assist Trophy to a fully fledged fighter." the coach smiled. I glanced at the application before placing it on the table.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Little Mac**

**Weapons (best): Boxing Gloves**

**Armor (best): Boxing gear**

**Your Abilities: Star Punch**

**Your Accomplishments: Champion in multiple boxing tournaments**

**What game are you from? Punch-Out! featuring Mr. Dream (NES), Super Punch-Out! (SNES), Punch-Out! (Wii), Super Smash Bros: Brawl (Wii)**

* * *

"Tell me more about why you want to upgrade your role to a playable fighter." I sighed.

"I need more training for tournaments. Being an Assist Trophy and punching random Smashers won't cut it." the short boxer said before dozing off.

"You can sleep after we're done." yelled the coach. Little Mac woke up before shaking his head.

"I…" The coach gave Little Mac a cup of coffee left on the table before waiting for him to continue.

"Drink that and you'll stay awake until we're done. Then you can sleep." the coach instructed.

"What's a Star Punch?" I shrugged at the application.

"It's my special move that's invented by my Coach, Doc Louis." continued Little Mac while he drank his coffee. He collapsed after a few seconds.

"I BLAME LARRY!" Link called from backstage. Several minutes later, several paramedics lifted Little Mac on a stretcher and left the stage. Tingle, another interviewee walked in. Everyone reacted negatively to his appearance and personality.

"Tingle, Tingle, Kooloo-Limpah!" The green bean jumped up in the air.

"Creep!" a girl responded

"Hey gayfag, I did your mom!" yelled some preteen kid with a Call of Duty shirt (Seriously, what are kids this generation playing? Possibly Call of Duty and Skyrim instead of Mario and Zelda.).

"Daddy!" cried a small girl.

"You suck. Nathan Drake makes a better Super Smash Bros character." some Sonyfag called.

And then some weird guy in a diving suit jumped on the stage. He stabbed Tingle in the stomach with his drill, before that green elf dropped a hammer (handle side up) on the two of them, killing both at the same time. I pushed the Easy Button, and the stage reverted before the Big Daddy incident

"NEXT!" I called. Young Link walked on the stage, dropping a backpack near the couch.

"So Young Link, you're here to get back on the roster?" I cringed at the sight of Young Link. I still hate him ever since he stole my DCMC figurines, but I don't want a reprimanding by Bowser.

"That's right Ganny! I'm going to return back to Super Smash Bros." Young Link raised his Kokiri sword in the air. Now where did I place that application? Oh there, I was stepping on it. Even though it has a boot print on it, I can still see it.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Young Link/Majora's Mask Link**

**Weapons (best): Gilded Sword, Fierce Deity Mask, bow/arrow (Fire, Ice, Light), various masks**

**Armor (best): Deku Shield, Bunny Hood**

**Your Abilities: Arsenal of equipment, transformations**

**Your Accomplishments: Hero of Time, Saved the world from a moon, freed the Four Giants,**

**What game are you from? The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (Nintendo 64, Wii, Nintendo 3DS), The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (Nintendo 64, Wii), The Legend of Zelda: Collector's Edition (Gamecube), Super Smash Bros: Melee (Gamecube)**

* * *

"Why do you want to return back to Super Smash Bros?" I grumbled.

"I want to rejoin because I want to prove to the fans that I'm not just a measly clone. I gave my move sets a makeover during the Brawl Season and I'm…." Young Link yapped on and on.

"You can stop there." I said. Young Link gave me a piece of paper.

* * *

**B Move: Fire Arrows**

**Down Move: Goron Roll**

**Side Special: Zora Fins**

**Up Special: Deku Flower**

* * *

"Why isn't there a Final Smash?" I questioned. "I hope it isn't that lame-ass Triforce Slash that your other two doppelgangers have."

"I simply put on my Fierce Deity Mask!" Young Link said in a Navi-type tone. He put it on and transformed into Fierce Deity Link. He swung his sword like crazy and a sword beam came flying at me.

"BOOM, HEADSHOT!" Young Link took off his mask, and placed his application into the box. He played an ocarina song and warped off.

* * *

**Lemmy's POV:**

I'm chillin' with my siblin's backstage. Kumatora, a stage manager ran to me.

"Lemmy, Ganondorf got knocked out!" she said panicky.

"Let me get my…" Kumatora interrupted me before I could say anything.

"You must go now!" She dragged me to the stage, where I saw Paper Mario. A 2D man in a 3D world, just like Mr. Game and Watch.

"It's-a me, Mario!" he cried. I unfolded the application folded into a paper airplane.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Paper Mario**

**Weapons (your best): Ultra Hammer, Ultra Boots, various Pixls, Special Moves (Star Sprites and Crystal Stars)**

**Armor (your best): Various badges**

**Your Abilities: Can switch between 2D and 3D mode, paper modes (Plane, Boat, Tube, Paper)**

**Your Achievements: Rescued Peach, Defeated an evil queen, slayed three dragons, Glitz Pit chamption, prevented the world from being destroyed, **

**What game are you from? Paper Mario (Nintendo 64, Virtual Console), Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door (Gamecube), Super Paper Mario (Wii), Paper Mario: Sticker Stars (Nintendo 3DS)**

* * *

"So, what's your main reason to join the cast of Super Smash Bros?" I said in a cheerful voice.

"Your voice sounds-a cheerful than usual, but I joined to promote my latest game." Paper Mario twirled his hammer in the air.

"And what's that?" I lived under a rock for a while, so I hardly heard about the latest video game news.

"It's-a Paper Mario Sticker Stars!" the flat plumber beamed.

"You have any exclusive skills from the game?"

"I use those stickers." Paper Mario said in his usual Italian Accent. He gave me a sheet of various stickers. I placed them in my (invisible) pocket, before continuing. I noticed a party-hat-wearing ghost creep up behind Paper Mario.

"Boo." the ghost said. It startled Mario, before the flat plumber jumped out of the couch. It transformed into Paper Mario, turning the real Paper Mario into a shadowy version of him.

"Give me back my identity!" Paper Mario yelled while he chased the ghost out of the stage. I tossed the application into the bin and looked at my watch. Seems that my shift's over now. Guess I can go out to play with my siblings. I exited the stage and took the bus home.

* * *

**Snake's POV:**

Master Hand kept me on watch to see if Link's brother tries to trespass on stage again.

"Lemmy disappeared. Can you take over?" a girl asked. She has neon pink hair and wore a long hooded sweatshirt.

"But I'm…" I got cut off by the girl.

"Please?" she begged.

"Fine." I stormed into the stage and sat down.

Knuckles walked into the stage, making the crowd cheer. He sat down on a couch, before taking an orange and peeling it.

"Knuckles? I thought Bob Sega blackmailed you into cancelling your interview!" I questioned.

"Sonic and some of my co-workers blogged about the incident, and it ticked off the fans. They weren't happy about that, so they sent multiple petitions and messages to Sega. My boss surrendered, and he said that I can audition for Super Smash Bros. He feared that if he still didn't let me join Super Smash Bros, then profits could go down." Knuckles sucked on an orange seed before spitting it out to the audience. Several of his fans fought it, trying to get a piece of Knuckles swag.

"Sorry if I didn't tell you that, but they made that decision at the last-minute." apologized Knuckles. He plucked some grapes from a vine and chewed on it. While he was chewing on the grapes, he gave me his application.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions**

**Your Character: Knuckles**

**Weapons (best): Chaos Emeralds, claws**

**Armor (best): A pair of shoes**

**Your Abilities: Superhuman Strength, super speed, gliding, digging…**

**Your Achievements:**

**What game are you from? Sonic the Hedgehog series (Sega Game Gear, Master System, Sega CD, 32x, Mega Drive, Saturn, Dreamcast, Gamecube, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS, Wii, Playstation Network, Xbox Live, iOS, Android, Blackberry, Nintendo 3DS, Playstation Vita, Playstation 3, Wii U, PC)**

* * *

"Why did you just say that you're from the Sonic the Hedgehog series instead of listing what games you're in?" I looked at the application suspiciously.

"Games. Too much games." the red echidna grumbled. "The role of Knuckles have been by two people, me and my dad. My real name is a secret, but Sega asked me to play as my dad when he died from a car accident."

"Ah, I see. Your company seeing you as a potential." I was about to ask him another question, when a hooded assassin jumped to the stage. He wasn't that Connor guy from that one Wii U game about killing people, but he had a similar outfit to him. The only difference was that he was wearing a robe instead of a coat. I think I remember his name. I think it was Altair.

"Hello Snake, or should I say, David." the assassin said coldly.

"Um, are you ok, Altair? Your voice sounds a little husky." I grumbled.

"It's Ezio, cretino!" the assassin yelled at me.

"Can you see I'm trying to interview someone?" I lashed at the Italian assassin. Knuckles looked at us, confused.

"Well, why did Nintendo choose Altair and Connor as potential candidates for the fourth tournament, but not me? It's ironic that they chose you for Brawl, despite being a Konami character." continued Ezio.

"Simple. I have a game for several Nintendo consoles and handhelds, Kojima and Sakurai are good friends, and your game came out almost two years after Nintendo released Super Smash Bros Brawl." I grumbled.

"Just because I didn't appear on a Nintendo console doesn't mean that I'm not eligible in Smash Bros 4."

"Don't worry David Hayter, I'll give you a chance. Let me join Super Smash Bros 4!" Ezio demanded like a small child.

"I'm not responsible for things like that!" I cried.

"I've hidden the truth from you but, how are your friends these days?"

"What do you mean by…"

"Does this remind you of anything?" Ezio questioned before tossing me a metal gun. I caught it and analyzed it. It was Samus's Paralyser, the one she used when I tried to ask her out several times. I know she hates me, but she's the woman of my type next to Mei Ling.

"Where did you get this?!" I screamed.

"I took that when I kidnapped your girlfriend." answered Ezio.

"Why, why are you doing this? Tell me!" I demanded.

"You rage like a little three-year old, but I'll tell you, Snake. Just tell Master Hand to let me join Super Smash Bros, or you can say arrivederci to your girlfriend." Ezio said maliciously, his lips barely moving. Luckily, I planted hidden mines around the stage in case Link's brother trespassed here. I pulled out my remote control.

"If you kill me, then you won't know where I took Samus too." Ezio warned.

"NOW!" I pressed the button on the remote control, and the mines exploded. At the last-minute, Ezio disappeared. His evil laughter filled the room.

"I supposed you chose death for your poor girlfriend." Ezio laughed. "I'll tell her that!"

"I'll find her myself!" I yelled.

"Um, Snake, is the interview over?" Knuckles questioned.

"It is."

* * *

**Meanwhile back at the mansion (Lucas's POV):**

I applied some masking tape to a cardboard box. I'm leaving my stuff in Master Hand's storage room, until I return back. Even though I don't make it, I can ask Ness to mail it back to me. My dad, Claus, and I are returning to Tazmily until Master Hand announce the fourth season. The plane leaves in 2 weeks, so there's plenty of time to pack up. There wasn't anything to do, so I opened my laptop so I can blog about my last moments in Smash Mansion. Maybe if I have time, I could play an online game or go on Facebook and see what everyone's up to. Ness rushed into my room, looking all excited.

"Hey Lucas, did you see this funny incident on Bowser's Interviews?" Ness said in a hyper voice.

"If it's the one about Larry, then yes." I sighed.

"Nope, it's the one about your dad!" my physic friend beamed. He pushed my hands away from the keyboard, went on YouTube, and clicked on Roy William Johnson's channel. Ness then clicked on a video called "LEAVE BIDOOF ALONE!". Roy did the usual thing of commenting on videos that are "funny". He reviewed that one video about Fuel complaining about all the Justine Bidoof and Selena Goron haters, and a video of Fox failing to do a barrel roll.

"Now the final video I'm going to show you is a rage video. It's the Holy Grail of the fighting videos; it's the Master Sword of YouTube, the needle in a…never mind." Roy announced. "I attempted to get some footage of the video, but either they stole my recording equipment, or I got ambushed while filming. Luckily, a user named 'TehSean' submitted it to me. He was in the audience while he filmed it with his phone."

_Roy pointed at a picture of a boy that looks like me. I thought it was fan art, until I looked at the text at the bottom. It said "White Flower" and some unreadable text. Guess it was a coincidence._

It's this video of Flint Lockwood, father of Lucas Lockwood beating the crap out of random people on stage after being provoked by Sora."

"_That's the man who used his father-in-law as dragon bait! I saw it all on TV!" Sora laughed while pointing at Flint._

"_I did not!" Flint yelled. Flint walked over to a piece of lumber, picked it up, and wielded it like a sword_

"Now I'm going act like Lucas, and use physic powers to know what happens. This is going to hurt." Roy commented.

_Flint then proceeded to attack Bowser, Ganondorf, Sora, Apple Kid, Orange Kid, and Jeff, using his new weapon. _

"Oh hohoho, one of the future child molesters in Ameri-I mean Nintendoland." laughed Roy.

_The video played in slow motion, with Flint attacking Jeff with his 2x4._

"And then some dragon boy warps right in and whacks him right in the head. I wish Angelic Burster attacked Flint with her moe moe kawaii moves. Then everyone will laugh at him because he got owned by a little girl."

_Kaiser warps on the stage, and hits Flint in the head with a giant sword._

"The original video received 25 million views in less than 6 hours; I think YouTube's view counter broke from all those views." Roy concluded. I closed the window, tired of this stupidity. I don't mind if it happened to an adult, but I don't think harming children is right. I'm still lucky that Dad didn't do that to Claus and me.

"Screw it, I'm changing my name." I complained.

"Why?" Ness wailed. "I like your name."

"I think that's why I've been bombarded by journalists in the city. My dad's ruining my reputation." I sighed.

* * *

**1 week later:**

I got my suitcase packed, and I'm ready to leave. I've had back pains, due to a lack of a mattress (I borrowed Snake's sleeping bag to use instead) and I'm having headaches. Maybe it was from the worries of leaving my friends. The door knocked, and Ness walked in.

"This was from the government." Ness announced. He gave me an envelope before walking out. I opened the envelope rapidly, and pulled out a certificate.

**Previous Name: Lucas Lockwood**

**New Name: Lucas Itoi**

**Place of Residence: Smashville, Nintendoland**

**Registration date: September 22, 2012**

"May I see it?" Ness asked. I handed him my name change certificate. "Why Itoi? Can't you just change it to Freeze?" asked Ness.

"It was originally Ito, but they mistook it as 'Itoi'. And who would have a last name called 'Freeze'? It's going to cause more controversy like why I have blond hair, while my parents are brunettes." I replied. "I got permission from Master Hand, because he takes care of us, and I'm not going to change it again because it's going to piss the government."

"Hope your dad doesn't force you to change it back." Ness smiled. "Want to go to the cinema? I heard The Smasher Games is playing now!" he offered.

"Alright! Let's go!" I cheered. I placed the certificate into my suitcase before catching up with Ness.

* * *

**TehSean and Fuel are from Twitter and Mother 3, respectively. **

**Snake's confrontation with Ezio is partially based on SummerAmore's The Star's Tears (8-2)**

**Knuckles being played by two different echidnas is a headcanon. **

**Cretino = Dumbass in Italian**

**Arrivederci = Goodbye in Italian**

**Next chapter: One of the Smashers finds a leaked recruiting letter in the trash bin. **


	12. Filler: The Ransom

**Master Hand's POV:**

I looked over the applications Bowser sent me. There are plenty of potential applicants for my fourth tournament. I read an application from an applicant named "Jimmy Hopkins". His application looks perfect, but if he isn't wearing armor, wouldn't he be naked? Odd. I looked at another application from "Magnus". There were two applicants with the same name, and I'm reading the one from Kid Icarus. I do approve the Kid Icarus one, because of his skills and popularity. I don't think I should accept Paula, she's possibly a Ness clone, but I think I can play around with her move set.

I was about to look at Cloud's application when Snake ran into the room, panting for fresh air.

"Master…hand!" Snake panted. "Help me!" I don't know what's wrong with Snake, but he's acting puny right now. But I'm assuming its some issues with Sonic.

"What's the matter? Is Sonic annoying you recently?" I asked, concernedly.

"It's not that." Snake replied.

"Did Samus attack you again?" I had minor sympathy for the mercenary after saying that.

"It's this." Snake handed me a letter with a fancy looking seal on it. It must be serious business. The seal has the Assassin Order logo on it, so I'm assuming it was regarding Desmond, Altair or Connor. I removed the seal and slowly took out the letter.

_Master Hand,_

_Now listen carefully. I am the leader of the Assassin Order. We do respect newcomers to your competition, but not how you reject people just because of the Nintendo System rule. At this time, we have one of your Veterans known as "Samus Aran". She is safe with us and unharmed, and if you want her back, you have to follow the instructions in this letter._

_You will accept Ezio Auditore into Super Smash Bros 4. We have enclosed his application in the letter. Make sure you include Ezio in the results when you confirm the characters. _

_We are also unimpressed about what one of your fighters has done to Ezio too. Solid Snake have attempted to assault Ezio on television, by trying to explode him to bits. We are also considering handing Samus to a boy named "Larry", if you decline to accept Ezio in two weeks. You must either accept him, or you can say goodbye to Samus._

_The Mentor _

Ezio isn't a Nintendo character, so I decided to write back.

_Dear Mr. Assassin guy._

_I have received your ransom letter regarding Samus, and I will accept Ezio in if you follow my instructions. Ezio does not have any games for our systems, but we'll give you a suggestion. Release a complication of Ezio's adventures for the Wii U, and we'll let him in. Don't worry, there's plenty of time. Even if we don't accept Ezio, keep in mind that two people play Samus. You have kidnapped the "Zero Suit Samus", and she is a newcomer to Brawl. Besides, can't you just let Altair or Connor in? They have games for the Nintendo DS and the Wii U, respectively._

_Master Hand._

I lifted the pen off the paper, folded the letter, placed it into an envelope, and attached a blue seal to the letter.

"Put this in the mailbox." I instructed Snake. Snake obeyed me and left the room.

* * *

**Snake's POV:**

I'm still worried about Samus's safety. I do love her, but I don't want to get kicked from Super Smash Bros, and get Konami banned. I noticed a piece of parchment sticking in the recycling bin. Good things always come in parchment, so I took it out and read it.

_September 30, 2012_

_To whom it may concern, _

_Are you a character ineligible for Super Smash Bros because you didn't appear in a game for a Nintendo system? Rejected for being a clone or "not popular enough"?_

_If so, the Smash Resistance may be just the opportunity that you are looking for._

_Not only have we shared your anger against Master Hand and his brawlers, but we also provide free cookies too. Don't worry if you're weak, we have some other positions you can join too! Here are the jobs you can take._

**_Janitor - clean up our bases_**

**_Chef - cook meals (and enemies) for us to enjoy_**

**_Healer - heal wounded members in the group._**

**_Strategist_****_ - form strategies for battles_**

**_Assassins - Want someone dead? This is the perfect unit to join!_**

**_Navy - Specializes in sea combat and ocean units_**

**_Air force_****_ - Specializes in aerial combat and sky units_**

**_Pyromaniacs - in charge of burning people and buildings_**

**_Design and Fashion - designs propaganda and uniforms_**

_Interested? Call XXX-XXX-XXXX or text the position you want (ex. Healer) to 34232!_

_Sincerely, The Smash Resistance._


End file.
